He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
