My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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