so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
