They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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