Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
