it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
