So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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