Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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