do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
