In the future we'll all be gay
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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