I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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