she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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