he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
