How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
