sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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