last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
im six kinds of drunk right now
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize