Define "chronic" masturbator.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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