3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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