Just mADE A PArabola og urine
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
