super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
