Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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