Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Randomize
