Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
