I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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