you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I want her autograph on my taint
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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