Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
