So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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