i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
