So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
