Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
