Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I look better un-naked...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
