Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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