Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize