I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
what day is it and did you see me today?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
