Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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