You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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