So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
