i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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