I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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