whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
