This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
