I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize