Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
