Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
