Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
