nut hugger
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
