you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
