i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
