you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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