When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
