If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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