I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
