just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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