...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Randomize
