dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
