the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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