i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
