Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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