You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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